This is just another part of the whole Blogging A to Z series where I pick a letter and just write.
Technically, I believe the spirit of this whole Blogging from A-to-Z concept is so that others can learn a little bit more about me: my likes, dislikes, personality, etc. Although why anyone would care about the interests of some no-name internet blogger is beyond me. Seriously, get a life.
Today’s topic de jour is ‘quick-witted’. (And for a moment, put yourself in my shoes: if you had to think of 26 topics to write about, each starting with a different letter, what would you pick for the letter ‘Q’? Trust me, it kind of sucks.)I’ve been told that I’ve got a quick-wit. Some might use the term ‘dry humor’ or perhaps ‘sarcastic’. Sometimes, people just think I’m a ‘funny guy’.
The bottom line: I’m a smart-ass*.
Years of listening to comedians like George Carlin, Eddie Murphy, Carlos Mencia and everyone in-between has given me an arsenal of comebacks that can be used in nearly any conversation.
Memorizing countless classic movie lines from “The Naked Gun”, “Blazing Saddles”, “Baseketball” and “South Park” has provided me with one-liners which continually serve me well.
Even the old standby of Butthead’s laugh (from “Beavis and Butthead”) can go a long way in simply making a point.
Yeah, I might be a big-time plagiarizer but believe me, I’m rarely left speechless in a good conversation. Though I have to admit, things have changed.
Andrew Dice Clay was replaced by an edited-for-TV version of Jeff Dunham. “Family Guy” was replaced with “Curious George”. Nights at the bars have been replaced with evenings at the in-laws.
I grew up, matured a bit and somehow ended up on a career path that took my once creative and goofy personality and boxed it into a logical, straight-forward kind of persona.
I’m not complaining, really. I’m just saying that in life, change is inevitable.
But don’t get me wrong. I’m still quick-witted (though perhaps my material is becoming a bit out-dated.) Sadly, I’ve also noticed that my timing is occasionally off as well. What’s probably worse than all of that, however, is the fact that the audience has changed.
Somehow other parents, married couples or just older people in general don’t understand the humor of a precisely dropped f-bomb alternative or appreciate an off-color quip about the new guy at work who drives a Ford Prius.
The whole politically correct movement has dulled people’s sense of humor and tolerance to anything, well, not PC.
Am I sad about it? Nah. To once again quote George Carlin: “What, the fuck, do white people have to be blue about? Banana Republic ran out of khakis??”
A Leppard can’t change his spots and I am who I am. You might get me to hold my tongue for a little while, but just know that sooner or later I’m going to pounce.
Besides, life’s too short to pass up a really good set-up.
* By the way, what’s the non-PC definition of a smart-ass? It’s someone who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavor it is.
Up next: R.